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Movie Review: Machete

 
Prinz Lee image

Prinz Lee wrote this review 5 years and 2 months ago

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Written 9/3/10

After its faux GRINDHOUSE trailer, I have to be honest, the possibilities of turning MACHETE into a film was something I always wondered about. It was actually one of the reasons why I enjoyed 2007’s GRINDHOUSE, and to be honest, purposely looked for the trailer on YouTube and emailed it to those who hadn’t seen the double feature saga created by Double ‘R’ and Q.T. – two of my favorite directors. Its grainy digital appearance, scenery, set-ups and cast – especially a grimy looking Danny Trejo left a skid-mark in my brain in the most vile, yet unique and approving way possible. I mean remember all the scenes where he’s just kicking ass, has lots of smart-ass remarks, frolicking with a bunch of hot naked women in a jacuzzi and utilizes those who surround him to his advantage? WOW! Well, thanks to Double ‘R,’ the film didn’t steer away from any of that and provided just about the most kick-ass result when taking a small concept that was supposed to be a goof, and turn it into a major motion picture. Kudos to Double ‘R’ on it because if there’s anything to be learned here is that one must always go with their gut and it never hurts to provide fans with what they want.

Once again, under the scalpel of Dr. Double ‘R’, he sets upon a dark tale of humanity’s downside of nature. This blasphemous masterpiece defines the artistic desire of The American with torture, blood spray, kinky sex, twisted fun and unique criticism of U.S. policies on illegal immigration. It's a digital gore-fest for those who thrive on violence that stretches beyond anyone’s abilities to comprehend. I mean on several occasions I’ve stated sex and violence doesn’t make a film… and it doesn’t, however, when a film’s been produced to present itself in a mind-fucking convoluted way without any kind of excuses or similarities to other films produced within the last ten years, than I guess I can allow it to stand its ground. It wasn’t meant to be taken serious and its focal point was to do what a film’s generally supposed to do – entertain!

With that said, Double ‘R’ has succeeded in slicing our curiosity of a forgotten genre and revitalized Grindhouse films!

Although 66 years old and looking like a bombed-out Iraq, Danny Trejo is convincingly a leading man. His career stems from lots of supporting roles in major films I’m sure we’ve all seen at one point or another, however, never really quite made it to a level where he’s able to flex a full fledged film as the star, however, thanks to Double ‘R,’ unique looks, talents and demeanor, his moment arrived and truth is he didn’t disappoint in the least bit. Lending to what’s been mentioned, a side display of banging saliva-dripping hotties like Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez and Lindsey Lohan mixed with memorable lines like “Machete don’t text,” it is beyond anyone’s doubt that HOLLYWOOD will be scoping him out for future endeavors.

Machete (Danny Trejo) is a renegade former Mexican Federale. He roams the cities, towns, and streets of Texas looking for work after a shakedown from a drug lord called Torrez (Steven Segal). During his moment of “Zen,” Machete has a run-in with Michael Benz (Jeff Fahey), a local businessman and spin doctor, who tells Machete that McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), a corrupt senator, is sending hundreds of illegal immigrants out of the country and that he must be killed. Benz offers Machete $150K to kill McLaughlin who quickly accepts the murder contract out of greed for the money. Attempting to assassinate the senator at a political rally, Machete is double-crossed and is shot in the shoulder by Benz's henchmen whom are soon revealed to be in league with Senator McLaughlin who orchestrated the entire attempted assassination with Benz as part of a false flag operation to gain widespread public support for McLaughlin's harsh anti-immigration laws by setting up Machete as the Guinea Pig to make it appear that an outlaw illegal Mexican immigrant tried to assassinate the senator. Now on the run from the law and being tracked not only by a ruthless henchwoman hired by Torrez, but Machete is also tracked down by Sartana (Jessica Alba), a persistent U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent with a special interest in the blade slinger. Machete goes after Benz and his men, as well as Senator McLaughlin, with the help of his only three allies; his "holy" Federale-turned-priest brother Padre (Cheech Marion) with a thing for pump-action shotguns; a saucy meat cleaver-wielding taco slinger named Luz (Michelle Rodriguez); and Benz socialite daughter April (Lindsey Lohan), whom Machete kidnaps and who soon develops a fascination for the blade-wielding fugitive since April has a penchant for guns. Machete rallies a group of illegal migrants together, and they all begin to hunt the people who double crossed him.

MACHETE is not for the squeamish, easily offended or children. This is a film that needs to be taken lightly and interpreted as nothing more than a film with a twisted form of art, humor and fascination among anything beyond a fantasy. Many who screened just like I did are Anglos and feel the film’s a blunt form to start an “anti-White” movement – YOU KNOW WHO YOU
ARE, you pasty face dick nose! That’s not the case at all. If ones’ aware of who Robert Rodriguez is and his way of presenting stories in films, than I’m sure you’ll get it and understand his concepts of film and cryptic cinematic art. If you’re not, than you’re fucked and should reconsider yourself as an open-minded human-being and start watching FOX News. Nothing in this film is aiming towards anything other than exposing a little bit of reality, blended with some twisted art for the sake of make-believe. If the case of an “anti-White” movement is what’s being interpreted, than obviously you haven’t seen that “anti-Minority” film directed by Clint Eastwood (Gran Torino) in which he also stars in. I happened to have enjoyed the film A LOT and even though harshly heavy with racial slurs and stereo-types, I endured it for what it really is… an art-form presented in one of its many facets.

Overall, MACHETE is a film I had lots of fun with and sure you will as well. A good pop-corn flick for Labor Day weekend and an awesome piece that’ll cause an interesting conversation at your family’s or friend’s barbecue on Monday!

Peace, Ese!

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