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Movie Review: Drag Me To Hell

 
Prinz Lee image

Prinz Lee wrote this review 5 years and 2 months ago

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PL's Archive: Written May 28, 09

Finally a horror flick released in 2009 that carries balls, style and thrives on unleashing a fright fest.

Unlike those fright train fuck wrecks, this is old school horror at its best. It's gory appropriate (I wanted more), scary, and a lot of fun to sit through. It reminded me of Sam's earlier movies and even though I never jump during horror films, Sam got me not once, but twice. He uses the camera like it’s his personal playground; tricking your eyes into thinking everything is calm when it never is. As important as the camera work is, the audio is the real star of the movie. Escalating ominous musical notes and deafening sound effects kept me on the edge of my seat. At least I was having fun as I was getting the crap scared out of me.

There are so many memorable scenes in the movie, with the car fight scene in the first act as one of the best to the attacking handkerchief scene in the third act. It's Sam's reminder to the audience that this isn't your average horror story; it's a Sam Raimi horror story. There are a lot of "What the fuck!" scenes in this movie, and most of all… you’re never bored. 

You know what I like best about Raimi's horror movies? The spirits in them don't mess around. There's none of this bullshit where we have to sit through twenty minutes of a woman watching dishes break and then we have to wait until the third act before we see how far the ghost is willing to go to claim its victim. (Which is usually nowhere because most ghosts in film today are total pussies.) Nope, not in a Raimi movie. Right off the bat, this is one pissed off spirit who does its best to scare the crap out of Christine by doing both emotional and physical harm. Raimi's horror spirits would quickly submit any of the pansy ass ghosts that had been trying to haunt theaters in the last ten years. Are there too many swear words in this review? Tough shit, it's been a rough day.

My only complaint? That this isn't rated R. I'm beginning to hate the PG-13 rating. I'm tired of studios relying on it for a "safe" box office take. Because we're the ones who suffer for it. This movie should be rated R, not PG-13. Remember when you could swear in PG movies? Remember when horror was almost always rated R? When did Hollywood get so soft? This is a hard PG-13 but that's like saying you just fucked the shit out of the prom queen with your pants still zipped up. I wanted more blood and egregiousness. But despite the PG-13, it still works.

I'm really glad to see Sam's return to the genre that mad him famous. After his last Spider-Man film, I thought that maybe the big movie franchise had somehow diluted his storytelling skills and his ability with a camera, but it hasn't. This is his best work in years and every horror fan is going to love it. I'm not joking when I tell you it was one of the best times I had while watching a movie. The acting was great by both Alison and Justin Long, the direction was superb, the story was fun and the scares were a plenty. This movie never, ever slows down and fans of the Evil Dead series can breathe a sigh of relief that one of their favorite horror directors is back. Sam Raimi can drag me to Hell anytime he wants. I promise not to resist.

Horror has come back! Whoosh… I guess I can rest now. For a while I thought Rob Zombie was the only with cojones to display his demented mind, but I guess not.

Okay Sam… now finish Spiderman 4 and start 5 quickly after.

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