Movie Review: The Informers
Prinz Lee wrote this review 5 years and 6 months ago
PL's Archive: Written April 29, 2009
Holy shit was I lost… this was as confusing as the actual show “Lost” or the film “Lost Highway”. The race for the title 'Worst Movie Ever Made' is a competitive one. It's a crowded field, even if you break it up into divisions; surely a movie made for a couple of grand by utter amateurs should not be up against a mega-million dollar film from supposed professionals, like Pluto Nash. And even when you take out the movies that are so bad they're good - Tommy Wiseau's The Room, for instance - you still have an almost unmanageable sea of dreck.
But a late entry in this sweepstakes of shit, The Informers, has emerged as a strong contender for the title. This film, an adaptation of a Bret Easton Ellis book of short stories, (AND nothing like “Less than Zero” or “American Psycho”) is one of the worst things I have ever seen, and I once saw squashed body parts and charred corpses of people who fell victims to 9/11 while doing recovery work at Ground Zero. The idea of sitting through The Informers ever again makes me twitch; the only reason I made it through it once was because of a dear friend of mine who loves Mickey Rourke and Billy Bob Thorton and therefore knew I had to suffer, but the good thing is I get to warn you away.
This is not a film that is so bad it's good. It's simply bad. There's no humor to be found in The Informers, simply sheer, monotonous badness. It is scene after scene of characters you don't care about doing things that are not interesting and saying things that are stupefying. And then, somewhere towards the end of the movie you realize that none of these characters and none of these scenes connect (although you'll probably be disoriented from the sheer directionless meandering of the film, so you may not actually know how long has passed or whether or not the movie is drawing to a conclusion. And that's not an exaggeration - it wasn't until the credits came up that I was certain there wasn't another hour of film to go). Not only that, but none of the individual, disconnected stories ever go anywhere. I'm not the kind of moviegoer who demands rigid plot in everything - I can enjoy a movie that takes the scenic route, or that is trying to build a mood or explore characters more than its trying to tell a thrilling story - but even my patience was destroyed by the way The Informers becomes a random look at the lives of a dozen shitty, hateful people, never getting near narrative, let alone drama or closure.