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Movie Review: The Unborn

 
Prinz Lee image

Prinz Lee wrote this review 5 years and 11 months ago

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PL's Archives: Written 1/19/09

“Jumbi wants to be born.”

Boy oh boy, they sure don’t make them like they use to. Horror film fans like myself always keep our fingers crossed in hopes that that next horror flick about to be released has some good substance in order to keep or heads turning in suspense and fear, or at the very least a minor creepy feeling, it seems like outside of any Rob Zombie film, I guess we will not hold our breaths. “The Unborn” although entertaining to a certain level, was far from anything scary. If anything, like WWE, every scene is pretty much predictable. From the start, right in between and of course, the end… whatever the case may be I’m sure David Goyer gave it his all. Pretty much best known for his “Blade” serious, I would think, his crossover to directing will have to speak for itself has his career moves on.

“Jumbi wants to be born.”

“The Unborn” is about a college student “Casey Beldon” (Odette Yustman) who already haunted by the death of her institutionalized mother, finds herself encountering these unexplained situations which start to occur from one minute to the next. Through a number of sightings, dreams and hallucinations, she wonders what exactly is it that’s wrong with her and sets off on a journey of questioning and research, which of course entails her hot “smart” know-it-all, yet, not so brilliant superstitious friend “Romy” (Meagan Good) and her knight and shining armor of a clean shaven “perfect” looking boyfriend “Mark Hardigan” (Cam Gigandet)… While venturing out on her journey of the unknown a turn raises the stakes when it starts to affect a certain aspect of her physical attributes which leads to a medical examination leading her to find out she’s a twin to an unborn brother named nicked named “Jumbi”. Patching pieces together through family history by scavenging around family photos, films and chats with her dad “Gordon Beldon” (James Remar), the answers remain. Realizing who it is that’s haunting her, complications merge more when the unborn twin has a past that leads back to her grandmother and Nazi Germany. Upping her level of vigilance of survival, it becomes clear that her only chance of tranquility lies in the procedure of an exorcism, and not just any… one that must be deciphered from a manuscript with Hebrew writings pertaining to the occult, which in turn means obtaining a Rabbi. Upon approaching, persuading and obtaining him “Rabbi Sendak” (Gary Oldman) forms a unique “team” which must be assembled due to rules-of-engagement for a Jewish exorcism. Once acted upon chaos breaks loose, but all falls under control.

Yippee!!!!

It sounds like fun, right? Well I guess beauty (or in this case art) is in the eye of the beholder. I’m one observant S.O.B., and I’ve got my minor beef with it. And here you go… 1. Enough is enough with using kids as scary beings. It might have worked once, say in “The Exorcist” or “The Shining”, but after that… I think that’s pretty much it, unless you beg to differ. Outside of that… nah, I can’t think of any other and spare me “The Grudge”… that little Asian kid was not scary at all. If anything… funny looking. So there has to be an ease with using kids in white make up and blue contacts. Not scary! 2. I noticed a scene or two or maybe three where it was kind of Exorcist’ish (is that a word?)… And that hurts. There’s no way, no how reaping what belongs to a classic cannot be translated or replaced in any way, shape or form. 3. It was never really thoroughly explained why this spirit needs to haunt this particular girl. It’s briefly mentioned, but there really isn’t a reason why? I also noticed how this spirit kept jumping from person to person and it confused me because if this spirit wants to live in a body… shit, stay in the one you’re in now. Why that need to be in that one body? And 4. Everyone’s too Goddamn pretty. What happened to the days when everyone was just average looking? Remember those old school horror flicks? You know those that stood for something and kept it “real” in a sense. I know sexy sells but come on… the world isn’t that beautiful. Even during moments of running and yelling and fighting and misery… these people look good. Than again it’s Hollywood, I’m not part of it so what do I know.

Overall it was just blah in my book and well… I can honestly say I’ve seen better flicks. As for this on… entertaining, yes… scared or creepy, no… I think the only good thing they have going for this film is Gary Oldman who never ceases to fail as an actor.

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