Movie Review: Colombiana
Prinz Lee wrote this review 5 years and 2 months ago
Perros and Perras, I’d like to start this review by saying there’s no question Zoë Saldana is Hollywood’s latest sizzling Latina star! Action-based all the way, flawless in looks and edgy to a core within anyone’s comprehension…this woman BURIED J-Lo, Selma Hayek, Judy Reyes etc. Yes, I know, perhaps those I’ve mentioned weren’t intended to be action-based stars, but in a world where half (or most) contemporary moviegoers only care about action, violence and sex-appeal…when it comes to having the kick-ass “it factor,” Zoë stands out in every way imaginable!
So with a string of films where she stands out as usual and kicking this in the face, shooting that one in the chest and even going intergalactic as a Na’Vi…do you dare to think Colombiana would have been any different? Hell no! Unrealistic to the max, but it’s a film to have fun with and it gives me great pleasure to say this woman provides us with an amazing acrobatic performance that makes this entire overkill action flick watchable, dare I say entirely fun and enjoyable.
Damn! One knows they’re in for one hell of a joy-ride when a film’s opening scene displays a sweet, little, frail-looking 9-y/o girl jigging a drug lord in the hand with a huge knife, then leaping out the window to execute a series of stunts throughout the cesspools of Bogotá, Colombia until arriving at the U.S. Embassy! And if that shit doesn’t get to you, than hold off for the next action-based sequence, where she makes her way to Chicago to find her uncle going medieval on someone, after which he tries to provide her with serious life lessons by firing a Colt .45 at random victims—a la DC Sniper—across the street from an elementary school…
What’s that? What? Back story? Ah—screw back story! The origins of this almost would-be perfect X-Men character is meant to define how Cataleya (Saldana) was so traumatized by her parents’ deaths at the hands of a Colombian kingpin that, 15 years after, she has become a one chick assassination machine with full intent on taking out the cartel as a whole.
Running somewhat parallel to all the action jammed in this film happens to be the all too familiar sex-appeal that’s always displayed. This woman is hot! Whether looking angry or simply charming, one stays focused on this woman’s appearance. The aura in which she carries from one scene to the next is simply there and provides the viewer a chance to enjoy her from another angle, rather than your stereotypical “angry Latina bitch.”
Colombiana comes with all sorts of goodies, folks! It has all the action anyone seeking a thrill-ride can want, it has interesting and cryptic characters, it has its own charm when exposing Saldana’s vulnerable character along side a Chicago FBI Agent and without question, it’s not just because of Saldana why this film is the way it is, much credit and respect needs to be given to Writer, Robert Mark Kaman—the brains behind flawless action films like Taken and all those little films which led to a franchise known as Transporter. Mix his talents with another Transporter veteran, Director, Olivier Megaton…and you have a well-crafted piece, spiced up with a little Latin seasoning…And BANG! Colombiana—a silly, overkill, movie that knows its place, but takes you beyond!