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Movie Review: Battleship

 
Prinz Lee image

Prinz Lee wrote this review 4 years and 6 months ago

1     0
 

AHHH!! You sank my battleship! (Remember playing that?)

Peter Berg (A man with his fingers dipped in many batters) presents us with yet another aliens-trying-to-take-over-earth piece. Like ALL films within the particular genre, I think you can guess the outcome: They attack, a few people die, there’s a harsh build-up – YAY…humanoids win! (BARF!)

It was pretty shocking when I heard Hasbro’s famous board-game was being turned into a film – I dare not say adaptation, because it was far from it. Truth is Hollywood loves money-makers, and wherever they feel there’s a franchise to expose and/or exploit, you better believe they’re in it for the win.

However, what kind of “win” they seek from this piece…I don’t know. Its got a cast which fills all ends of the spectrum when it comes to talent, along with killer aliens/robots, scenarios beyond any humanoid could ever endure, old-school vets with just one more fight in them, Barrack Obama, remarkable special-affects and lastly a horrible script!

Mr. Hancock (Peter Berg) produces and directs Battleship, a sci-fi, action-adventure that unleashes across the seas of the Pacific, the skies and land as our big blue marble fights for its survival against a superior force from a world beyond our comprehension.

Sound familiar? Ok, well maybe not to its core, but haven’t we seen that already?

The one and only thing I felt this film had going for it were the special-affects. Beyond amazing and visually exposing how expensive this film was to produce, my hat’s off to Berg on this. Everything looked and felt real… The rumblings from explosions, to splashes from water, the art behind its graphics compliment the film in many ways.

Another aspect of the film that works is scenery! There's something about the open ocean as it glistens to sun-rays that makes it really beautiful. (I also add there was quite an enjoyable scene which pays homage to the game – when you catch the flick, you’ll know it.)

On the flip: Considering its cast, there really wasn’t much to play with regarding story. There was nothing about the script that made me feel anything for anyone in the film. Quite frankly, I’m an aficionado of Armageddon, and would have wished for once the end-of-days would approach us, but I guess I’ll just keep Terminator 3’s ending close in my mind, body and soul.

 Rihanna’s and Brooklyn Decker’s beauty is simply that, Liam Neeson’s one of our finest actors to date, but there wasn’t much for him to chew on, John Carter was just there with his stare and grunting, and everyone else…well, they were just there.

Playing their roles to the best of their abilities, the writing was pretty goofy (I never understand comedy when the end of the world nears), flat and way too long with a little over two hours.

With the release of Marvel’s The Avengers holding outstanding box office and cinematic clout, it’s pretty hard to predict the outcome of Battleship. The film as a whole is a mish-mash of what happens when the approach is based more on quantity versus quality. It’s not impossible to have a multi-million dollar budget film done well, but it all depends who’s pulling the strings.

Time will tell. I may be wrong, but this may very well bring in over $200 million at the box office (Laughing), so we’ll need to patiently wait and see its outcome.

Is it an entertaining pop-corn flick? Yes! Is it something you’ll walk out feeling touched? No! But who cares? Most moviegoers don’t give a shit about feeling a film.

Personally, I’ll stick to the board-game and never watch this again.

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